The Adventure Returns...

Back in high school I was dating this guy who had the oddest hobbies. He loved to sew; enjoyed making costumes to wear to Renaissance and Medieval Faires. He grew his hair long and painted his nails from time to time. He loved reading and writing both fantasy fiction and poems. He also did this crazy thing called Role Playing. I sat in a couple nights with him and his two friends, Mitch and Aaron, confused and yet fascinated by how the whole thing worked.
I have always loved anything set in the medieval era. Fantasy and fairy tales were where I placed all my thoughts as a child. I had been taught to sew but it wasn’t until I started making costume pieces that I really did some of my best work. I looked down on those that didn’t make their outfits as they would have originally (minus how I came about the cloth and taking advantage of the added efficiency of a machine that stitches for you). I’d even come up with a name for those half-assed fakers that merely showed up to one faire once a year thinking they were “all that”: Topic-ers. These were the people that bought everything from Hot Topic and then tried to come off as if they were well read and knowledgeable about the time period. Please remember that this was fifteen some years ago when Hot Topic was stricticly Goth wear and not the crazy skater-eighties-skinny pantsed-emo wear they sell now.
At my boyfriend’s urging I created a character, with his massive and overbearing assistance, and started to play with them. Aurora the Grey Elf Mage was born. Role playing is exactly that, designing a character within certain rules and really PLAYING that person. Aurora became a sort of split personality for me the longer I played her. She was the amazingly gorgeous, flirtatious, and talented woman I wished I was. But as time went on I didn’t have to think about what SHE would do in a situation, what her weaknesses or faults were, I was in her head playing her straight on.
My boyfriend had also found a job working for Wizards of the Coast, a corporation that had bought the rights to TSR, the company that produced Dungeons and Dragons materials. It was like being hooked into the supplier for an addiction we all had. It was also a completely illegal outlet for making extra cash selling cards for deck games like Magic and Pokemon to card sellers before they could get them legally. Those were some strange back alley transactions which I never approved of.
Once in college my boyfriend found other players within our dorm, Danielle and Doug joined us and even Aaron made the drive over from a neighboring university. We started meeting every Friday night in his dorm room, Pizza Time pizza our only sustenance. Those adventures were some of the greatest memories I have because I really saw them in my mind as we played. JR was a story teller and an amazing one at that. It hardly ever felt like we were being lead down a chosen path. He created an amazing world and we freely and randomly interacted with it.
From those friends we met other people, Nick who lived in our dorm and ended up later that year playing with his group of extended friends. We also participated in a tournament through Wizards of the Coast where two of our players won awards for best played character (Aaron) and highest points achieved in the game (Nick). I on the other hand got the unofficial award of “Quickest to Die.” I had enjoyed the tournament and it was great to play the game as it is officially intended, but man I was neither prepared nor able to think quickly and creatively. I sucked!
When JR and I and my best friend Janai and Nick, who had recently started dating and he had just taken a new job working for WoC as well, all moved in together that summer it seemed there was always a Dungeon and Dragons game happening. Those were some good times of being able to surround yourself with the world of the game twenty-four / seven. But when I broke up with JR three months later things became horribly strained. JR moved out and continued playing with his co-workers, delving into other worlds dealing with vampires or werewolves. Then the next blow, Nick and Janai broke up five months later and I lost all touch or avenue of playing the game. I was also dealing with a completely distraught best friend and we were the remaining two people in that big apartment. We had bills to pay to finish the lease and playing make-believe didn’t seem practical any more.
Over the years I’ve generally kept touch with everyone. Those people and maybe two more are all I can think of that I’ve remained friends with over the years. I graduated with my totally practical Biology degree, but still managed to work in my love affair with lords and ladies and the inevitable dragon or two when I completed my minor in Medieval Literature.
Flash forward eight years… when ever Danielle and I had a chance to get together and talk the idea of an all girls game night or putting together a group to play DnD always came up. I wasn’t ever really in a place to do that and feared the new editions and rule changes had ruined the game as I knew it. Since my high school reunion over a year ago I found myself back in the company of those I went to college with, even dating one of them. I had gotten in touch, somewhat randomly with JR recently and he was quick to confirm that he had two separate games that he played very often. Nick was still doing a faithful weekly game with people that I had played with through his extended friends in the past, and old co-workers of WoC that I had met at one time or another. At my birthday dinner Danielle told me all about meeting her group weekly. I suddenly found myself wishing and thinking of old times. It seemed like everyone I knew was still playing but me!
When she and I met later last month for dinner, again the subject came up and I expressed my jealousy. From there we ended up concocting a plan. Danielle was still good friends with Mitch and Aaron and neither of them had played the newest edition. It would be a nice fresh start for all of us. Leaving her in charge of seeing if the boys were willing I had to smile on the way home. How strange that if everything worked out I’d be playing with two guys that I had started playing the game with in the first place. But then again there were complications. Mitch and I had parted friendship in not so grand a way, and I had no idea where I stood with Aaron after all these years. They had both been friends of JR’s and really I hadn’t spoken to them since JR and I broke up so long ago.
When the email came back that the boys were willing and we set a date to meet up and discuss things, I got really nervous. It had been ten years since I had seen these guys. Life puts so much bullshit in the way of people’s relationships, but it’s up to the people whether they let the bullshit stay in the way. Since I had started seeing JN and dealing with the never ending drama from a girl I had once called my best friend, I’ve really put a lot of thought in what I considered insurmountable bullshit. To my way of thinking, there isn’t much in the world that isn’t surmountable. I’ve learned that other people have differing and limited thresholds. What would I find when I walked into that coffee shop? They had to at least be agreeable, since they knew I’d be apart of this group.
It was a fine evening even if it was odd that it had been so long since I’d seen those guys. Nothing seemed hostile or cold about their interactions with me, but when JN offered to come down and say hi, I was all for it. It had been forever since he had seen these guys and I needed the added moral support. Sitting next to him and watching his interactions with them as well as with all of us reminded me that I’m not the same person I use to be, and at the same time I am the person I am.
My biggest complaint about my last relationship was that he held a firm idea of who he thought I was, and I completely disagreed with with that idea. In fact I HATED it. His responses to my personality and reactions were all tuned toward this idea he had and it made things horrible between us. Being with JN was like going back to my roots and being reminded of the motivated, intelligent woman I was (and still am) in college. I fought tooth and nail to get my education and finish my degree without any financial assistance from my family. That is who I am, and the person I am now eight years later is also who I am. I am not JR’s crazy ex-girlfriend, I am not the broken down alcoholic ex-Army wife, I am not the co-dependant idiot that can’t do anything right. I am me… and in his eyes he sees me. In moments of insecurity, that is the best feeling in the world.
So in two days I’ll be meeting my group for the first night of actual role playing. I still have a lot of reading to do about the mechanics of the game since it’s all new rules for fourth edition and well… it’s been eight or nine years since I’ve even tried to play this game at all. I’m also pretty sure I never really KNEW how to play the game any way, or at least I was never very good. JR had been the sort to do something for you if he felt you were taking too long to do it. I have no memory how I went about building the stats and scores for my infamous Aurora character, but this time I’m going to do it myself. I’ve borrowed books from Nick and totally plan on surviving this without help. I want to learn it right the first time and on my own.
What will the future hold? I’m excited to find out.